hiding
with Ade Schinauer
In the Queerfeminist Pocket Calendar 2024 19 fragmentary sentences are narrating experiences with hidden disability.
The text translates as follows:
hiding
exhausted after all those hours of sleep. stay at home.
unfamiliar notes in the calendar. keep it private.
arrive late again. should plan for travel time.
try to get a word in. then don’t.
lose contact in conversation. yawn a lot.
don’t remember later what you just said. but think otherwise.
miss an important appointment. where have I been?
could report nothing but survival. don’t call for months.
stumble over own sentences in pain. stumble even more when noticing.
yesterdays violently impose themselves on today. quietly sort out the times.
want to talk about . the voice blocks.
disappear . realize: oh, life goes on.
have plans. forget them again. do something else.
pain is pulling on the hips. breathe in the rich summer air.
experience something beautiful and rest for three days. weigh up relationships.
estimate energy as desired. disappoint expectations.
cancel at the last minute. conceal the reason: too scared on the road.
completely over-stimulated. bathe in songs.
puzzle the day together in the evening. it doesn’t sit right.